Adam Sager's Journal

Insight!
Blah... Been a few days and no comments which is good I suppose. It occurred to me last night that I should explain a few things. It came out something like this. In today's society, the concept of love and hate has merged into a gray area. People say they love everything like cars, TV, and friends. I can say "I love chocolate" and it would be a different kind of love than when I say "I love my grandmother". Love is a term that is thrown around a lot and has lost a lot of its meaning.

Similarly, hateful words and phrases are uttered everyday on animated shows and prime-time television. Just last week while watching Fox during peak hours I heard the phrase "If I had a gun I'd kill you all!" around 20 to 30 times (due to a certain episode preview). Basically in that episode of "Family Guy" Brian (the talking dog) looks up an old girlfriend and finds that he has a son named Dillon(why he isn't half dog I don't know.). Anyways Dillon has to live with Brian at the Griffin house and he isn't too happy about it. I realized that I had heard that particular phrase enough that it had basically lost all meaning to me. In truth, the phrase or even similar hateful phrases had lost their meaning to me a long time ago. A person could literally walk up to me on the street and say "I'm going to kill you" and I wouldn't even flinch or take them seriously even if they threatened me with a gun. I'd just figure it was someone making a movie or just being weird. I guess I just thought that the words wouldn't mean anything to anyone else since they didn't mean anything to me. I mean throughout the week I'm barraged by Homer saying "I'm going to kill you!" to Bart on "The Simpsons" or Listen to Stewie's matricidal speeches on "Family Guy". I mean in that context it is funny.

In my mind the Internet is largely a false entity. There is very little real-life stuff that happens. I go to Slingo.com and play the games. Sure I have over 70 million slingo coins but they are basically fake coins. I can visit all of the pet sites that I adore but the pets are bits of data and I realize the fantasy aspect of it all. You can visit Second Life or Furcadia and the environment can seem realistic but it too is fake. Don't get me wrong... I loved Furcadia back when I played it and I do love Second Life. It has been over a year since I have been to Second Life. Hopefully I can remedy that soon.

I'll tell you what is real though. The friends you make online are real. The emotions are real. I hold them as dear as family because that is what they are. They are extensions of my family. I'm not discounting that with all this talk of fake stuff. I met most of them in a fantasy environment sure... Not the environment that matters. I may never get to meet any of them but I've known that from the start and that was never a factor. They all are amazing even if I have lost touch with some of them.

On the topic of false things. This blog is part of the internet and merges with the fake aspect of the internet. The information I type is true but I seldom ever bother to read an entry in mine more than once. I put them out of my mind and forget them. The "May 4th" entry was gone from my mind and forgotten by May 6th. I do tend to get fired up with nothing much to do but spend 10 to 12 hours surfing the net while playing various gaming and virtual pet websites. I take some of that time to write amateurish stories that basically allow me to express different parts of my personality. It is a way of experimenting with aspects of myself with any messy drama and no unsightly diseases. I also write as a way of solving internal turmoil.

There are times when something happens that brings all those thoughts and feelings back to the surface. In this instance my grandmother and father were making a big deal out of my bad experiences back in Grade School and High School. Mainly it was because I never told anyone about them. I mean back then I didn't want anyone to get in trouble. Later, I realized that coming forward wouldn't do any good which seems to have proven true. It looks like I'll just bury these emotions again and maybe they will stay buried for a few years. I've decided that I can never attend Alumni Banquet. It is more of a relief than you imagine. I doubt I'll ever have a wife or kids anyways and nothing to really show for in my life anyways. I'm a bit too broken to ever be repaired which is fine. I like my solitary life even if it was forced upon me by.... Nevermind. I'm sick of all the blaming and grow fatigued of this struggle. I'll bury the memories and then maybe the nightmares will go away.

I quite like my life even though most people would see it as boring and mundane. I never really saw myself as a janitor. Back when I helped my grandmother clean the Astoria Church of the Brethren... It was one thing that I reassured myself that I'd never be. It is a living and pays the bills though. I wish I was making a 5 figure salary but I also realize that a lot of money isn't where happiness is. Sure, a lot of money would make things easier. Then again "easy" isn't always "best".

I'm exhausted. Night!

Current Mood: exhausted

Weird Dream...
Ok.. Like usual I can't remember much of this dream. I seem to remember a trailer park. Anyways I was with this girl but I forget (if I ever knew) her name. She was wearing all black it seemed. Anyways we go inside this old looking trailer. It is narrow in there and there are these 2 cats. One is curled up in a basket and is this grey color. I look and see another one but what I see kinda scares me. I see this normal looking black cat but it grins at me with this big (nearly human) toothy grin that is wider than its face. "Nice cat." I tell her and she nods. "Looks like a Cheshire cat" I say. She just nods. The weird cat keeps watching me. Anyways it seemed like something from "Doctor Who". I hear a narrator somewhere say "It is amazing how she has adapted and now gets along pretty well..." I'm thinking "WTF".....

I'm sure there was more to the dream.. I just remember about the freaky cat with the grin. I also remember how much it unnerved me. I went to bed about 11:00PM last night but I found myself waking up at 3:00 AM and again at 5:00 AM since I am insanely afraid that I will oversleep. As a result I don't get much sleep. My biological clock is usually pretty good about getting me up right on time.

I can never understand my dreams. They are at least interesting. I suppose.. I usually have several dreams when I sleep 10 or more hours. I seldom remember them but I do have a vague memory of dreaming. I dream in color oddly enough... Sometimes black and white...

Oh well... I'm too tired to type anymore.

Interesting day!
Interesting doesn't begin to describe this day. It was yesterday that I got a call from the Illinois State Police. I already knew why deep down so I agreed to meet them at 8:00 AM. To get there in time and save on gas I had to get up 3 and a half hours early which was mildly annoying.

Oh and everyone wave to my new audience.... The police. Apparently, the thought police are real and not just a fiction in the book "1981" by George Orwell. Apparently, unknown to me.. making threats against people crosses the first amendment. Do I take back anything said? No not really. I could go back and change the blog but it would only make it appear that I had something to hide which I don't.

I originally posted the infamous "May 4th" blog as a test. My theory was that if no one responded to it then the people mentioned were innocent of the charges laid against them. If people responded (and hid behind their Anonymity) then it was just as good as a confession. In my mind the response I got proved my point. I admit that I sought a little financial compensation for the 12 years of Hell that I suffered at Astoria High School with the teachers (even back in grade school) knowing full well what was going on. Even the then principal overlooked it due to the high athletic ability of the people involved. It has always been that way. It probably always will be. Sports over Academics. That is why I hate most sports with a passion. I cannot count the number of times I had to run home to avoid after school bullying or the sheer amount of nightmares that still haunt me to this day.

People who really know me.. well they know that I am not a violent person. I also kinda faint at the site of blood and you can't kill a person without spilling blood which would knock me out like a light. Then the police got involved. I think they have decided to drop all charges since I convinced them that I wasn't a threat to anyone or myself. Still this will probably put a permanent blemish on my permanent record. If you read the entry after the "May 4th" one you'll see that I recant all that I put in the May 4th post. Apparently that was a post that they decided not to print out and include with the May 4th post. They had to focus on the one where I said those terrible things. Then again.. what do you expect? My life is going nowhere and I used to attribute it all to my horrible school life. The truth is that it was probably mostly me. I'm a 31 year old virgin for God's sake. That's enough to drive most people insane.

I fear guns... Seriously... Never touched a real one. Never want to. I am always afraid the recoil would break my arm. Besides.. people use them to kill animals and I want no part in harming living creatures (especially animals).

Back in school I never fought back and I am still that way. A one way fight is assault. There are times when you probably should fight back. The way I handle the anger is that I internalize it but I've learned how to control it better.

My dilemma is... I already work 2 jobs and I still don't make enough to live on. I've cut spending and I still don't have enough to live on. I never learned to drive so I can't work out of town. I have an infected left big toe but no health insurance so I basically look at my toe and say "infection go away". Too bad it never does. I've tried applying everywhere and no one needs a computer whiz. The 2 houses that my dad owns are both in horrible shape and the town is threatening to take them away due to the fact that they are both a hazard. I need $1000 before the power company will even think of turning the power back on (at the newer house) which is really a moot point considering that the roof gutter is digging into the ingoing power line. My dad is stuck in a never-ending divorce preceding and I'm not sure it will ever be completed. My mother is a vindictive woman who I found out was having an extra-marital affair with Bob Cleavanger. I need a DNA test to debunk the rumor she started that Bob might be my actual biological father.

There is like another paragraph that goes on and on. Still I plug away at this seemingly hopeless thing we all call life. Suicide? No way. I've become accustomed to this life even with all of its problems. Sure I suffer from severe self-loathing and can't look at myself in the mirror because it cracks.

Ack... I'm exhausted.. Luckily I can sleep like 13 hours tomorrow. Gotta love Fridays. I know I sure do. Maybe my bizarre dreams will allow me to think up some new invention. Not likely but there is always hope.

Current Mood: tired

Nothing new!
Been ages since I posted anything here. Mainly because nothing much has happened. There was one week... I believe it was the week of Flag Day... That I had been out of town every day that week.. Monday through Friday. I had a wedding to attend on Saturday (Flag Day) but I decided not to go since I was way behind on internet things. It was a long ordeal anyways. I still would have been back in time for "Doctor Who" on PBS but I was kinda relieved that I didn't go.

I have set new goals in terms of Bella Sara cards. I am trying to collect all the common cards. I purchased "Yin and Yang" from BBToystore for around $3 plus shipping was around $3. Anyways I consulted my master book and here is what I discovered.

1st Series (out of print)
Not going to bother. It is too hard to find the 1st Series cards.

2nd Series
I need... 7, 20, 24, 26, 32, 39,40, 46, 47, and 53

3rd Series (Northern Lights)
None (I already have 1-28)

4th Series (Ancient Lights)
I need 12 and 17

5th Series (Native Lights)
I need 3, 6, 13, 19, and 27

6th Series (Magical Friends)
I need 1, 3, 6, 7, 10, 11, 15, 16, 19, 21, 22, 24,26, 28, 29, 30, 32, and 34

According to master book... that should be all the commons. Master Book is just a notebook that I list the cards by number. Until I get a card the space next to the number is left blank. Therefore I have no clue what the missing cards are named. When I pull a card from a booster pack then I write the name in pencil next to the appropriate number. When I add the card to my Bella Sara account then I write the name in Black ink.

Currently I have 207 horses added which doesn't include special cards or items. I have two 2nd series cards left to add. They are Rose and Shakira. Since they were written in pencil they were deducted from the above list of commons that I need. I keep documentation of every single booster pack I open and every card that I receive.

I joined another pet site a week or so back. It is a pretty small site but pretty neat too. I noticed it on Whisperah's old DA account. It is called Neuro Galaxy. It is an interesting site and the staff seem to be pretty friendly. The amount of users that are online is usually pretty small but it is a site that I enjoy. My username on there is the same as every other site in the universe.

Anatheria is going well. There are a lot of new forums and on Thursday they will be adding 5 new mods. Exciting times. I was pleased to see that Phiedragon (Abbey) made it to the second round. Now it is up to Zerkonia to pick 5 users from the 10 that Dark chose. Not an easy task. I don't envy that position.

Subeta is interesting. If you play Subeta.org then log off and never go back! Apparently some former staff members took over subeta.org or something. The new site is subeta.ws so log in there and forget subeta.org. Don't worry... All your pets and items are on subeta.ws. It is basically the same as .org but better! Keith will sort it all out. I have even more respect for him now (which is a lot!). We are all behind you 100% Keith.

I guess that is all for now... Oh Wait... More News!

I'm not looking forward to this whole DTV thing. Where I live barely gets analog channels. I tried the converter box that I managed to get and it gets maybe 4 channels if I am lucky. Perhaps the TV aerial on top of the house got turned in a storm or maybe there is a loose wire. We have the Aerial amplified with a signal booster box. Too bad no one around here works on them.

Enough of a rant for now.

On a positive note, I saw that Wikipedia had an article on one of my favorite webcomics. That webcomic being Jack. Jack is a furry webcomic that has a MA rating. It was while reading that article that I realized that some fan of the comic made a platform game for it. It took a lot of digging but I finally found the link to where to download the game. It was 37 Meg in zipped format. I played through the game once and it was pretty neat. I believe I made it to stage 6 on easy mode. Whatever stage the first non-sin boss is located at. I figured out a better strategy for when I get there again. The game of course has a MA rating as well. It is hard to believe that such an awesome game only took about 2 months.

Now if only someone would put an entry into wikipedia for "Slop" which is another furry webcomic I like. I doubt I know enough about "Slop" to write an article myself. I have followed the webcomic from the very day it went live. It is a tad different and yes it has a MA rating as well.

Eileen (I apologize if I misspelled the name) was back at the library for a few days. It was great to see her again. She has some surgery coming up involving her back and I wish her the best of luck. The past 2 weeks she was working Tuesday and Thursday. I'm not sure when her surgery even is but I hope all goes as planned.

Current Mood: bored

Update Yay!
I haven't posted here in awhile. It was probably 2 weeks ago Thursday that I Made my way to Havana and found a ton of Bella Sara cards. Well over 100. I bought the Second Collector's Tin from Alco plus 4 booster packs of Ancient lights. The Collector's Tin had 28 cards and the total of the Ancient Lights Booster packs was 28 cards. I went over to Palmida and found 2 boxes of 2nd series cards. Each box had 31 cards. I also bought 1 booster pack of Native Lights. I will start by putting down the cards that Abbey sent me. She sent me a Native Lights Booster Pack.

Abenaki
Apache
Hidatsa
Pawnee
Shawnee
Yakama
Blackfeet

Very nice =P I needed all of those.

These are the cards that I bought when I was in Havana last.

AL Pack 1
Aphaia
Aurora OPegasus)
Demeter
Flora
Juno
Selene
Posidon's Trident

AL Pack 2
Cupid
Epona
Eurynome (Shiny!)
Hera
Jupiter
Pandora
Uranus (Pegasus)

AL Pack 3
Aphaia
Ceres
Eirene
Flora
Hera
Vesta
Triton's Horn

AL Pack 4
Aurora (Pegasus)
Cybele
Epona
Gaia
Pandora
Persephone
Venus

NaL Pack 1
Abenaki
Fiona (Shiny)
Inuit
Kiowa
Mohawk
Navaho
Tewa

Collector's Tin

Zephyros (Ancient Lights) (Shiny) (Pegasus)

1st Series
Jonathan
Sweety
Walter
Yellow
Hoof Care
1 rules Card

2nd Series Pack 1
Artemis
Bello
Charlie
Friends
Lucas
1 Activity card

2nd Series Pack 2
Beauty
Ming
Spottie
Thunder (shiny)
Yung
1 Activity Card

Nol
Bella (shiny)
Brisi
Jonas
Rauni
Star

AL
Aphaia
Demeter
Fiona (Shiny)
Flora
Hestia
Selene
Posidon's Trident

--------

2nd Series Box 1

Sunny (Shiny)

2nd series Pack 1
Beauty
Charlie
Cajus
Peace
Yasmin
1 Activity Card

2nd Series Pack 2
Bello
Feng
King
Sasha
Skipper
1 Activity Card

2nd Series Pack 3
Blackie
Dynamo
Freja (Shiny)
Mandalay
Shaman
1 Activity Card

2nd Series pack 4
Lancelot
Leonardo
Luna
Sokki
Walter
1 Activity Card

2nd Series Pack 5
Alibi
Lucky Light
Saga
Spotty
Yellow
1 Activity Card

2nd Series Pack 6
Artemis
Friends
Lucas
Sheng
Treasure Key
1 Activity Card

-------

2nd Series Box 2

Sunny (Shiny)

2nd Series Pack 1
Bellisimo
Cantaro
Chung
Filippa
Tai
1 Activity Card

2nd Series Pack 2
Jojo
Mermaid
Moonlight
Mushu
Pink Lady
1 Activity Card

2nd Series Pack 3
Bello
Halloween
Kio
Misty
Parlez (shiny)
1 Activity Card

2nd Series Pack 4
Chung
Eagle
Grey
Pedro
Tao
1 Activity Card

2nd Series Pack 5
Colour
Flame
Ming
Sung
Hoof Care
1 Activity Card

2nd Series Pack 6
Dynamo
Jonathan
Leonard
Mandalay
Tiffi
1 Activity Card

I still have 30 cards to activate. The duplicate cards I promptly sent to Abbey. It seems I have exhausted my nearby places to get cards. I plan to buy out Palmida when I get to go again. There were only around 5 packs of Native Lights left after I bought the boxes of cards they had. I like buying in bulk and the collector's tins seem to be the only way to get 1st Series cards. I do plan on buying a "Yin and Yang" card when I get more funds. I so want to activate that card. The 2nd Series card "Friends" is neat. There are actually 2 horses in the same stall. I figure "Yin and Yang" are the same way. I mean 10 bucks is a bit steep to pay for one card even if it is a foil/shiny card. I mean I pay $10 for a collector's tin or a box of cards and I don't know what I am getting. I should be putting money towards my new laptop since I am around $200 away. Oh well. this one cripples along. All in all it was a nice find. I currently have 118 horses activated not counting items/energy cards. All in all things are great!

I had a few bizarre dreams last night. I guess sleeping like 14 hours does that to a person. In one dream I was chasing someone in like a golf cart or something motorized. We kept going down tight alleyways where there were these Chinese guys carrying big stacks of dining plates. They all wore really tall chef's hats. This guy was like your stereotypical bad guy with the big black mustache and stuff. I remember looking inside his cart since it was umm.. kinda open. like it was a frame. Inside I saw a small black pony. I was thinking how cute it looked. It was a weird dream

I had another odd dream. I was in this store that I used to work at with my grandmother. It was "Grannies' Christian Books and Gifts" or something. I was looking around but things were strange. For one thing along one wall were all these birds out of their cages. There were mostly parrots and they would squawk every so often. I wonder to myself why they don't fly away. Anyways I look at this one display and the old owner seriously materializes out of the wall. She is at a desk and working on papers. She is lined in blue light and blends in with the wall. I recognize her as Flossie Morris. It was nice to see her. Anyways this girl who runs the place now (not Flossie) approaches me and asks me if I need help finding anything. I'm like "no not really". I look down and see a basket of clothes and recognize some of the articles of clothing as belonging to my grandmother. Her jacket, headscarf, hat and other items are in there. I ask the girl if it is ok if I take them because they belong to my grandmother and she is like "sure". I look through the basket and find one sock with the Joker on it and a pair of socks that are wet (eww...). I look closer and there are prescription labels on them. I read off one of the names to the girl and she goes white and runs away. I remember that in my dream I could read the names clearly though I have forgotten them now. One was a Steven (his name ended in a russian sounding name). There was also a girl's name like Melandra something. There was a third name but I have forgotten it completely. How strange

Oh well. Night all =P

Hmmmm....
I could explain my weekend.. or maybe I already did... Anyways I got a package today from my friend Abbey. All kinds of cool stuff. A few more Bella Sara cards to add and some helpful books on drawing. Also some art and neat little fun things like plushies. How she fit so much stuff in such a tiny box is beyond me. She is awesome =P Today was a little exhausting for several reasons but her gift made it a little better.

It all started a long time ago I suppose. My dad suffers from deep depression most of the time. Today though he was pulled in too many directions and basically snapped from the sheer pressure. It would be ok if school was still in session since College and school is kid prison. Makes me sad to see spring come. Anyways, a few days ago some of the guys (Bo, Johnny, and probably Erica) came over after my dad just got off work after working 8 hours and wanted to play games. He even tried to get out of it. They are kinda think in the head though. Before that Johnny wanted to tutor Isabel in Geometry over at my grandmother's house (Maybe their house smelled like dog shit or something.. Who knows.) My guess is that they just wanted free food. Holy Hell we have to get food from Salvation Army just to make ends meet and the neighbors eat Schwan. Gobble up all our food why don't you and all our expensive ice cream. Anyways, My dad had to stay home and watch Johnny and isabel when he wanted to mow the lawn.

Anyways... Today was interesting. My dad doesn't lose his temper often. Today he wanted to eat here so as to not eat Johnny's food. Anyways Luke was waiting with Erica over at Johnny's parent's house out in the country and he was supposed to pick up my dad. My grandmother was trying to get him to eat something and Johnny was wanting to go. He freaks out and throws something at the stove and starts yelling so I basically just go to my room and wait until he leaves. He takes the car but That is cool with me just so he is gone. It isn't his fault really. Prior to this Victoria called probably with some sob story wanting more money or wanting him to babysit the kids. Everyone's life would be easier if someone would kill her. All she does is go out and party plus she has 4 kids with 4 different fathers. He's too depressed to see the error of his ways in even helping her. Nothing we do seems to make him see the light. I see absolutely no hope for this situation at this rate. I'm wondering if the divorce will ever even be final. I'm not certain what is holding up the process. A divorce is not supposed to take 6 months to finalize. My mom probably keeps making demands when she is really entitled to nothing at all. I'll have to see if maybe I can make that happen somehow. If it was a hearing or a trial then I could testify against her. The ironclad evidence would insure that she gets nothing. The divorce has to make some headway first which it isn't.

I guess it is all a case of people not thinking or not caring. This could be a long summer.

So ummm... Anyone got Rhapsody or some free music DL program? I need a song and I don't feel like opening Emule. I mean my laptop would probably rebel and explode as twitchy as it has been. Plus my mouse is acting up. Maybe I dropped it too many times. Either that or the USB ports on my laptop are dying. My mouse will just die and I'll have to unplug it and plug it in again.

Can anyone get me the song "Resurrection" by Nocol Sponberg? I need it to give to a friend so that she can make a Youtube video with it. You should check her work. Her name on Youtube is petzgirl.

I need to make a list of things I need to buy:

A CD Player (both of mine are broken)
A new Optic mouse (this one is acting up)
Maybe I'll have some funds left after I pay my monthly bills. Thankfully my Internet is paid up until July 10th. That just leaves $20 payment to the medical clinic (I'll still owe a little over $180 to them). Thankfully I get paid this week. I was running a bit low on funds.

You see I had this awesome CD player that I loved. I bought it at Aldis for like $20. Anti-skip... MP3 player... Awesome! Anyways I find it broken on the floor of my room and I figure my grandmother probably accidentally knocked it off onto the floor. Anyways I switch back to my very first one.. I plug it in and nothing. It just decided to quit working. I can still listen to CDs on my laptop but the speakers suck. I figure I can get one for $20 but I kinda wanted an FM tuner. LOL I'd settle for anything these days.

I'm exhausted.. Nite.

It appears it was Mauve's outfit that I saw in the dream. Mauve runs the Clothing Rack and not the Subeautique. Just a correction.

More!
Ok where was I? Oh yes. Tuesday I was in Save-A-Lot and this Mexican boy who wasn't very old was really friendly. Cute kid. I'm friendly with everyone.

Thursday
Well I worked at the Post office from 10:00-11:00 then worked at the library from 11:00-11:30 and 12:30-1:00 (since I had already worked 2 hours on Wednesday. Anyways we went to Havana after I got off at 1:00pm. The gas was like $3.87 a gallon and cheaper than anywhere else for the super unleaded. I knew I wanted to go to Alco first so we did. I never figured I'd find any Bella Sara cards but I looked anyways. I go to their (trading)card section and wow I was literally blown away. They had 3 packs of "Northern Lights" for $1.99 each. I took all of those. They also had 2 collector tins for $9.99 each. Each tin contained 1 1st series pack, 2 2nd series packs, 1 "Northern Lights" pack, 1 "Ancient Lights" pack and 1 Holofoil card. They also had 4 or 5 packs of "Ancient Lights" for 3 something but I left them. Basically a tim would contain 28 cards total since they didn't start putting 7 cards in a pack until "Ancient Lights" came out. Anyways I spent $17 there and when I go back I'll buy that other tin. It is worth 10 dollars to get 28 cards. The shiny card that is extra is only worth 100 horseshoes but oh well. Usually Holofoil cards are worth 250 Horseshoes. This is what each pack contained.

NoL pack 1
Embarr
Jonas
Rimfaxe
Sleipnir (Awesome!!!)
Star

NoL Pack 2
Bosi
Charlie
Melusine (holofoil)
Ran (Water Horse)
Skipper!!! Yay!

NoL Pack 3
Donn
Iduna
Misla (pegasus)
Mystery (looks like stone)
Viking

Collector Tin
Zephyros (pegasus)(Ancient Lights) (Holofoil)

1st series
Hercules (definitely male Clydesdale =P)
Rose
King
Charlie
Jewel (Holofoil)
1 game card

2nd series pack 1
Sheng
Pedro (Yay! Donkey!)
Grey
Roxy (holofoil)(pegasus)
Riding hat
1 activity card

2nd Series Pack 2
Jojo
Flame
Colour
Bosi
Flipper (water Horse)
1 Activity Card

NoL
Bosi
Moonlight
Walter
Froya (holofoil)
Iceking (pegasus)

AL
Clio (awww... she is so cute!!!)
Epona
Persephone
Bukefalos
Jupiter
Iris (pegasus)
Apollo's Lyre

NoL= Norther Lights
AL= Ancient Lights

I mean 5 Holofoil cards. Plus Skipper, Sleipnir, Pedro, and so many others

I have activated the following cards and have screenshots of all their stables

Arapaho
Urania
Zuni
Ran
Tlingit
Iris
Eirene
Opis
Skipper
Paiute
Vesta
Menominee
Flipper
Peter
Ceres
Tewa
Sleipnir
Tsimsnian
Misla
Seneca
Hercules
Cybele
Nike
Iceking
Achilles
Roxy
Jewel
Zephyros
Froya
Mesuline
King
Pedro
Mystery
Persephone

I currently have 3,026 Horseshoes and have 30 cards yet to activate. This laptop runs slow and it takes forever for anything to load on the Bella Sara site. I get by though. This is the breakdown:
Horses:
Urania 25 Horseshoes
Nike 100 horseshoes
Cybele 25 Horseshoes
Opis 25 Horseshoes
Achilles 25 Horseshoes
Vesta 25 Horseshoes
Ceres 25 Horseshoes
Eirene 25 Horseshoes
Zuni 100 Horseshoes
Arapaho 25 Horseshoes
Seneca 25 Horseshoes
Tlingit 25 Horseshoes
Tsimshian 100 Horseshoes
Paiute 25 horseshoes
Tewa 25 Horseshoes
Menominee 25 Horseshoes
Hercules 25 Horseshoes
Skipper 25 Horseshoes
Sleipnir 25 Horeseshoes
Flipper 100 Horseshoes
Ran 100 Horseshoes
Iceking 100 Horseshoes
Iris 100 Horseshoes
Misla 100 Horseshoes
Roxy 250 Horseshoes
Jewel 250 Horseshoes
Zephyros 100 Horseshoes
Froya 250 Horseshoes
Melusine 250 Horseshoes
King 25 Horseshoes
Pedro 25 horseshoes
Mystery 25 horseshoes
Persephone 25 Horseshoes
Energy/Items:
Moccasins 150 Horseshoes
Drum 150 Horseshoes
Riding Hat 150 Horseshoes
Apollo's Lyre 150 Horseshoes
Games:
Bubble Wand 4 Horseshoes
Firelight Festival 22 horseshoes.

I had the most bizarre dream last night. No doubt all the Bella Sara cards brought it on. Anyways I forget how it began. Anyways I was in this shop and there was jewelry and odds and ends everywhere. This guy kept asking if he could help me find something and I was like "No" but he kept asking to the point it was getting frustrating. I looked around but didn't find any Bella Sara cards. I left but found myself in this overhead maze like game. there was the sky and clouds beneath. I couldn't find my way through the maze because I couldn't jump. over the gaps in the maze. I remember falling through the sky and landing back in the shop on top of one of the displays. I guess I landed on something and picked it up. It was a scroll type thing. Anyways the lady behind the cash register said to come up there to see how much I owed. This screen popped up and had "49" in the box then she said to enter the code that I saw. I also saw that there was a time limit and I couldn't type the code in time. The odd thing was that the timer would start at like 1:07 (one minute and 7 seconds) but when I concentrated on the code then the time would drop to like 7 seconds. Finally I got pissed off and typed "oops" in the box. The odd thing is that this chest appeared and opened. Inside was this really nice outfit. It was the outfit that the New Subetique owner wears. The brown overcoat, brown pants, orange tie... It was odd.

Speaking of Subeta... I was going to go off on them for some reason or another but the problem remedied itself. Yay! I'm still not very active there but it is a great site! I'll have to rebuild my user profile. I probably shouldn't have put a link to Kenopets or something. I figured it was alright because it wasn't a referral link. I'll mention it but not link to it. I'll have to find a link to all the Youtube vids I had on there. There was "Take on Me" by Aha, Bring me to life by Evanescence, What I've Done by Linkin Park, At the Beginning featuring Spirit (the video I had made). I have the URLs in a notepad file somewhere. Oh yes and "Somewhere I Belong" by Linkin Park. I need to revamp that profile anyways to reflect Chaotic and Bella Sara interests that I have. Wow!!! Magical Hikei Shoes are now under 500,000 sP... Whoa... I am so buying them... Now if only "A Telenine Christmas" would get that cheap. I only need one more copy... Didn't want to drop below 4 million on hand... Yay! Night.. I have a party to attend tomorrow.

Current Mood: cheerful

So far...
Monday:
Monday was long but awesome. I got off work at 11:00am and we took my dad to work. We then rushed to Macomb to make my grandmother's Dental appointment at the Eagle View Community medical center thing. They provide medical services for low income people. Basically for her it is $35 for a filling and $35 for a cleaning. Anyways.. I was drop-dead excited because Wal-mart up there has Bella Sara Cards. Just Native Lights but oh well. Anyways my grandmother was in the Dentist office for around 2-2.5 hours so I walked to Hy-Vee to eat some Chinese. It turns out that the tooth that she needs the root canal for has 2 roots and they are crooked. The dentist thought she should go to an oral surgeon but she declined because of tight funds. "I can do it but it might not work." The dentist told her. "That's ok, You go ahead and do it and I will just pray a lot." was her reply. Went to Wal-mart and I picked up 3 packs of Native Lights Bella Sara Cards, 1 Pack of Chaotic (Dawn of Perim) cards, and a little something for Abbey (which I sent her today). I used a gift card which dropped my total from $18 to around $13. I cracked open the Bella Sara Boosters and got the following:

Absaroke (2)
Cochiti (2)
Comanche (2)
Huron
Jewel
Kiowa
Menominee
Mohawk (2)
Paiute
Ponca
Tewa
Tlingit
Tsimshian
Wasco (2)
Drum
Moccasins

Not bad. Only 5 duplicates out of 3 packs of cards. Only duplicate I have left is Wasco.

Now I just started opening the Chaotic card deck and right on top is a Holo-foil... SO I'm like Yay! I've never got a Holofoil before. It was an Ultra-rare Mugic Refrain of Denial. Too bad it is an underworld Mugic and I specialize in Mipedians. Still this is what was in that pack of Chaotic cards:

Dardemus
Kughar
Refrain of Denial (Overworld) Holofoil
Power Pulse (rare)
Brathe
Windslash
Squeeze Play
Lhad
Staff of Wisdom

Wow a holofoil and a rare! Nice =P Also Brathe is a Mipedian that I didn't have. We didn't get back until arounf 5:00 PM so long day.

Tuesday!
Got off work at 11:07 AM and then went with my grandmother to get plants up at Beardstown. I basically pestered her until she said I could go (I=Evil). Finally, she said "If you really want to go that bad then you might as well go." A victory is a victory even if I play a little dirty. We were supposed to get there at 11:30 AM but we were running a little late. I called up my uncle and he said there was no rush. We actually made it to the Sager Funeral Home about 5 minutes late was all. Trish wanted to get the plants first so she drove and we stopped by this one place in the outskirts of Beardstown. It had a German name and very friendly people. She picked out some pepper plants, onion plants, tomato plants, cabbage plants, zucchini plants, and some marigolds... All in all the plants fit nicely into the trunk. There was one mega tall tomato plant with green tomatoes on it that went in the back seat. We went to this Mexican restaurant where the old "Pizza Hut" used to be. Great food there. It was called "Fiesta Grande" or something. I had a chicken taco salad and my grandmother had chicken quesadia deluxe. We then went to Save-A-Lot and I bought a box of Slim Jims for 1 dollar. Later when I opened the box I found 6 slim jims inside. Yay! Went to Wal-mart but no Bella Sara cards at all. They had 2 packs of Chaotic cards left but they were "Zenith of the Hive". I bought one and...
and...

Wow! Nice Danian cards... 2 Holofoil cards.. I nearly fainted... Anyways there are the cards:

Jaal (danian Warrior)
Khavakk (Danian Muge) Holofoil
Ornathor (Underworld Taskmaster)
Hive Destruction (Underworld Mugic)
Danian Element Choral (Danian Mugic) Holofoil
Song of Encompassing (Danian Mugic)
Parasite Token (infected)
Accelerated Unity (Attack)
Supercharged Alterant (Battlegear)

So a nice haul.

Yay! The Svalix was released (on Anatheria) on Monday and a Svalix Morphing Vial stocked in the main shops soon after I got home so I used one. I have a Svalix. I was hoping that species would be released soon. It is one of my all time faves. I love them all though because all the artists on the site are mega gifted. Anyone above the age of 15 and interested in being a site artist for Anatheria should sent their application in. It has to be digital art and not hand drawn stuff. Whisperah became Artist of the Month for May. I still need a Svalix Snowglobe, a Whisperah Staff Plushie (cute pony), and a Snowman Plushie to complete my every item collection. I'll get there.

On Bella Sara, I activate 2 horses a day until I run out. I am up to 949 horseshoes. I have 9 horses left to activate. I have 15 or so horses activated. If you have a water horse and you can't get its happiness to max then try adjusting the temperature. It needs to be in the center for your horse to be perfectly content. I have access to 3 types of stables (Normal, Pegasus, and Water). I still need a unicorn since I suspect that it would make a special stable. I suspect that "Skeleton" and "Yin & Yang" would get unique stables as well. I saw a card named "Twins" and I was also wondering what the mare and foal cards were like.

I wish there were places to buy these cards. No Wal-mart that is very close carries them. I know of no place that carries any of the earlier series anymore. I don't know the name of Series one but series 2 was Northern Lights then came Ancient Lights then Native Lights. The nearest one is 30 miles away and gas is nearly $4 a gallon. Now this is a fact that I KNOW. If gas prices don't go down then postage stamps will raise in price again the day after Mother's Day next year (just like this year.) International stamps jumped 4 cents so now it is 94 cents to send a letter overseas. Not that I will quit writing letters because I love it so much. It is cheaper than flying there every week. You certainly can't fly round trip to Australia on 94 cents a week. The postage is still fair.

I'm tired and going to bed. Night =P

Oh one last thing. I applied for those DTV converter box coupons. You can too. If you are still using an Analog system like Broadcast TV then you'll need to upgrade before Feb. of 2009. You can request up to 2 coupons. The box will allow you to receive digital signals if your TV can't on its own. The site is... http://www.dtv2009.gov Sorry but only US residents can do this. The coupon should take a nice chunk (maybe $40?) off the purchase of a DTV converter box.

Current Mood: ecstatic

Insight!
It felt good to get all those feelings out. I honestly didn't know that such biter bile flowed through me. A pretty shocking revelation on my part and it showed me that I was handling the situation all wrong. The way I was handling it goes against who I am. I mean I try not to be a hateful heartless person. It took me awhile to see where the problem was and how to fix it. I am an amateur bible scholar and know full well what the good book says about vengeance. Taking it into my own hands is like playing with dynamite (not my cat of the same name). It only blows up in your hand and costs you your hand or in this case your soul. The right thing to do is just to forget it all and steer clear of those situations. Forgiving a grudge that has had this much of a hold on me won't be easy but I figure it is the only way. I was giving these people power over me even many years after it happened. A lawsuit wouldn't fix that and it would just piss everyone off. The only thing to do is let go. It just seemed like I was using it as a crutch. It seemed so easy to blame them for everything wrong in my life. If I can't move on then it is my fault. Our past doesn't make our future. Our past has no power over us. It only has the power that we give it. Being mad about solves nothing but only makes things worse. I used to believe that whole-heartedly and I guess I needed to practice what I preached. It will be a struggle but the best things in life are.

I also wanted to clarify what I said about bars. I like bars because they usually have pretty good food. I have friends who are social drinkers and that is cool with me. I know they are responsible and I respect them just as much as I do a non-drinker. People are unique and unique is great. My family (back before the divorce) used to visit "Bucher's Club 24" outside of Summum, IL. We'd never drink anything alcoholic there just eat the food. It was actually really nice as bars go. It is basically the closest bar since Astoria is a dry town apart from the American Legion.

Proth Morphing Vial was released today on Anatheria/Kenopets. I am stalking the apothecary on Market Island trying to snag one for my gallery. I have one of every item on the site except 2. I lack Snowman Plushie and Proth Morphing Vial. A Proth is a frog-like pet. It resembles a frog. Shops restock once an hour but the forums are usually pretty fun.

I added Achilles and Vesta today on Bella Sara. Achilles was on the bottom of my pile until I noticed something that moved him right to the top. He has an arrow stuck in his heel. I wondered if it would transfer to the site and it did. Poor guy. Vesta is gorgeous and spotty. I think I ma up to 7 horses on there. I will likely add my final 2 (Ceres and Eirene) tomorrow. For the record both cards gave me 25 horseshoes so I am up to 237 total Horseshoes. 225 are from the cards and 12 are from playing the games. I have screenshots of each horse in their stable and I'll gladly give them to anyone who asks. I have screenshots of...
Urania
Nike
Cybele
Opis
Achilles
Vesta
I have no screenshots of Peter since every user starts out with him. He is kinda cute though since he is brown and has one white sock. I still have snail-mail to write and garbage to take out. I'm out for the night.

Yay!
Alumni banquet always brings out the best in me. I am being sarcastic of course since my High school years were basically Hell. I only went to one Alumni Banquet and the bullies weren't there. I haven't attended one since I knew they would be there. To be honest I still hate all of them even though it has been many years. Some emotional scars are not so easy to heal. I got an idea tonight. Maybe sue all of them for all the torture they put me through. Maybe get some cash out of them for what they have done. Sue for punitive damages. Legal fees would be more than I could ever afford and it is a sure way to get black-listed in town. Jocks are like that. People take their side. It is bad enough that I have to work under one of their mothers at the library and a former teacher that cheated me out of an honor near graduation. I wonder sometimes why I am being punished for all this. It seems so easy sometimes to let go of it all. I mean I felt bad when when Chris Chockley (a former classmate) offed himself. If I was in his situation though I would have done the same thing. His mother was a total basket case. We are talking totally insane. I know you are supposed to pray for the living and not the dead but I did pray for his soul even though I knew that since it was suicide He'd spend eternity in Hell. He wasn't one of my main tormentors though. He was like old Abe Trone. He got a taste of power and went along with the crowd. Peer pressure that turned a friend against me.

I just wish I could let all these feelings go. "Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger" is the old adage and it is true but I'd like to add "and makes the desire to kill them stronger." It was really cute my last Alumni Banquet. I got my invitation and an invitation to join them at some tavern. They know I don't drink and I never have... I never plan to. Like I want to kill brain cells with the crap. I don't even drink communion wine (my church always used grape juice anyways so that was ok). I can act drunk just fine without the aid of any beverage. Anyways I took it as a severe insult (not that I was going to attend anyways).

There were definite cliques in my class. There were the preppy girls who were mainly cheerleaders, the jocks, and the outsiders. Me? I was of course one of the outsiders. To be honest I would have actually been one of the first Columbine people. Go in with a gun and kill them all but at that time I had myself centered in religion and had a firm grasp over my anger. For them is was a game I guess. For me it was a game as well. I also had outlets for this anger and plenty of violent video games to take my mind off of it. "Doom", "Wolf 3-D", "Rise of the Triads", "Duke Nukem", and many others. I suppose it helped picturing them getting shredded a million different ways. I finally had the power (even if it was all fake).

Yeah, that is an awful lot of anger. So what exactly happened? 6 years of nightmares every single night. Sure I could have told the teachers but what good would that do? They were jocks. The sports program trumps everything. I mean getting kicked in the crotch all through art class and nothing getting done about it... You do the math. Heck, Joshua Spencer even chased me all the way home from school once. I don't care if it is wrong or not. I want them all to pay.

You are wondering who they are. That is simple. Their names are forever burned into my brain. Their faces too... I have mentioned 2 already. Valesha Foster was one of them but she developed Lupus so I'm not mad at her anymore and that was a one time thing. Mike Grimm was a one time thing too. He was a major jerk but not a jock. Corey Crenshaw was an underclassman but even underclassman gave me a hard time. All these are small timers though. Shane Baker was small time too. John Potdorf was a blow hard that knew everything. He was a minor annoyance. The big timers were Andy Merrick, Kenny Brockley, Jason Merril, and Jamie Graham. There were the followers... Frank Brillhart, Abe Trone, and probably a few others.

I never went to the restroom except twice in High School. I developed a fear of public restrooms that I still have today. They all have gone with their lives by now but I have never been able to. Maybe if I outlive every single one of them then maybe I can get on with mine.

On a positive note, I joined Bella Sara www.bellasara.com which is pretty cool. I've added:
Urania
Nike
Cybele
Opis

I still need to add:
Vesta
Ceres
Eirene
Achilles

This is an account of how I got all my horseshoes:
Urania 25 Horseshoes
Nike 100 horseshoes
Cybele 25 Horseshoes
Opis 25 Horseshoes
Bubble Wand (game) 4 Horseshoes
Firelight Festival (game) 8 horseshoes.
-----------------------------------------
I finally beat "Neoquest II" on normal.
I finally beat "Neoquest" on Evil! dificulty.
My profile looks neat with so many silver trophies.
I might work on getting "NQ2" beaten on Evil! difficulty to upgrade that trophy to Silver.
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Kenopets/Anatheria is going pretty good. I find that quite a few users are getting discouraged and quitting. I'm hoping that once Anatheria is up and running completely then the users will come back. I have a great deal of faith that they will be back.
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I always get a bit tense around Alumni banquet time (even if it isn't my year). I apologize for the rant but but I kept it bottled up so long that I was afraid I'd explode. Better to explode on here than IRL right?
---------------
I am close to my goal. I figure I should have $350 more before I try to buy that laptop I want. That will take me roughly 14 more weeks if I am able to pull $50 out every 2 weeks. I'm hoping $700 will cover it though it costs like $682. This laptop is getting worse and I am afraid the power adapter (which is already damaged) might give out. The cord is a bit frayed near where it goes into the black box. A new adapter would cost $80 and it just seems cheaper to get a better laptop. I've minimized spending a bit and decided that I can't afford slim jims since they are $1.20 a box now. I had a good run though and I was becoming too reliant on them. I have set aside a weekly budget of $8 a week to buy cards (1 pack of Chaotic cards and one pack of Bella Sara cards). I figure the money I used to buy Slim Jims with can go towards that. The problem is that the Chaotic cards I want are classified as rare or super rare. I've not joined the site yet since I am basically collecting the characters I like. Owis, Staluk, and many more that I never caught the name of. 9 cards come in the Chaotic card boosters ($3.97) and 7 cards come in the Bella Sara Booster ($2.97). Those are Walmart prices. Chaotic card boosters at Palmida are around $5.00 each. Then again a beach towel that I really wanted from there turned out to be like $14 so I was like "WTF? Ummmm... No..." Maybe Alco has cards for cheaper but I seldom go to Havana IL. I'll start saving the money in a jar and spend it when I get to civilization.

Tis late! Night!

Wow!
It looks like it has been 4 weeks since I last posted here. What has been happening? I had some weird dreams but I don't remember them. I didn't write down some of them and so they are long forgotten. I told some of my more bizarre dreams to Abbey so I might transcribe them here eventually. The odd thing is that I had one dream that I was performing on "American Idol". I had another dream that I met Simon Cowell. Oddly enough we hit it off and we became buddies. He introduced me to Frank Lloyd Wright or something and I helped build the set to "American Idol". As dreams go that was pretty bizarre. Maybe it was something I ate before bed or maybe I had a fever.

Things have been a little slow on Kenopets/Anatheria so I am writing in here. I am currently saving up for a new laptop but I don't know. It seems that "Vista" for Windows is full of bugs and I'm not sure I want to convert to Mac since all my software is incompatible. Has Microsoft worked out all of the bugs in Vista or am I better off sticking to a 4-5 year old laptop?

As far as Kenopets/Anatheria goes I need 2 items in order to own one of every item on the site. I lack Kuma Snowglobe and Snowman Plushie. I'll get them someday.

My wireless router quit working a few weeks (maybe a month) ago. Basically the power went out during a storm so I had to manually configure my DSL modem. Then my wireless router was being stubborn so I held the reset button in for 10 seconds (usually 1 click will do). Now it can't renew the IP address. I even tried using winsockxpfix in case spyware had corrupted the registries. I figure I probably broke it. I figure I can fix it if I set up a new wireless network but I am too lazy. I've tried running Adaware 6.0 and it freezes up when it tries to scan common folders or something. Spybot S&D picks up timesink in one of my registries but I have no clue how to fix that. I figure I wouldn't have to worry about it if I just got a new laptop and started fresh.

Yesterday I played "NQ II". I had started playing maybe Friday of last week. Yesterday though I made it from Meridell Castle (already beat Ramtor once and talked to everyone) all the way to Temple of the Sky (just inside the door). "NQ II" has a fascinating plot though I won't go into it since it would ruin the surprise. Basically Yesterday I beat Ramtor (easy) and then beat scene 2 (Terror Mountain). I was level 32 when I met and defeated Scuzzy. I basically keep "hunting" mode on nonstop so that I can train. Tal (I forget how to spell her name) the archer joined and I put 15 points into Direct Damage and 9 points into Multiple targets. I later put a few points into shockwave and now Multiple Targets is up to TetraShot (or something). Mipsy had maxed out Group Direct Damage and is currently training in innate skills (casting Haste and Defense). Rohane has maxed out Damage increase and has a few points in shock, and innate Melee speed. I am working on maxing out critical hits. I've not found Velm yet but I know he is close. I've not decided how to distribute skill points when I get Velm yet. Some say Group Shields and some say Celestial Hammer. Group healing and Innate Casting Haste are a no brainer. where to go from there is a mystery to me.

Current Mood: amused

Blah.. Update!
It was Easter today. It was a small gathering but it felt to me like another day. I spent most of the day hiding in my room.. Yay! Well there are good things and bad things have happened over time.

The Good things.
Well I bought this flashlight Wednesday or Thursday. It is like the brightest flashlight I've ever seen. The lights are LED lights. Mega penetrating beam. It takes 3 AAA Batteries. It was in the 50% off bin so it was only $2. On the 16th of March it was my Birthday. That is all... Today I got my taxes done. I owe $304 so Yay! Plus I get $8 back. It only cost me $10 to file. I actually scored 946 points on Kass Basher. That was no easy feat. I got Laura's package ready to be sent. Her birthday is coming up. I'll try and send it out tomorrow. Thursday I finished the book "The Incredible Adam Spark" and even decoded all the interesting symbols in the book. It was a very interesting read. Now if only I knew who sent me the book...

The bad news.
I kinda let this go. I mean it miffed me at first. The library is never open regular hours anymore and 3 people are working there. I meant to call Joanne Cooper about it (she signs my checks) and ask what is up. Is the Library that low on money or are people just lazy. I mean Garth is really not pulling his weight anymore. He holds resentment against Barb because she got 2 weeks off. He never got time off. Basically he smokes and is a diabetic so the times of not being able to go out and grab a smoke is getting to him. Hell, I've never had a vacation in the 4-5 years I've worked at the post office. I have got to do something about this... I mean people are complaining that the library isn't open and they took my key. I have to put up a sign tomorrow and I can't get in until 2:00.. Chances are I'll get yelled at and there isn't a damn thing I can do about it. I could replace all 3 of these lazy workers easily. Why people are so fucking blind to this I don't know. It was a few weeks back and I was supposed to put up a sign but the library didn't open until 2:00. The lady comes in and starts yelling at me because it isn't up yet. How the Fucking Hell am I supposed to get in without a KEY!!! I'm not a Fucking ghost... I wish I was sometime. There are times that I despise my own existence. That wasn't all. She came back a few days later and made me redo the sign because she couldn't read it. She owns one of the local shops in town.. I so wanted to get even with her. Break her windows.. She is a smug person that needs dropped a few pegs. I'll never do that. I'm too nice. I'll never grow a spine. All the time I'm getting the letters for the sign I hear Garth Bragging about all the days off He's getting. I mean come on. I'd work all the shifts for $48 a week because it isn't about the money. The library needs to be open and I can't see how the Library board allows this.

Yeah long rant.. I just think I am destined for something better than things an inbred retard could do. I actually felt complete working the circulation desk. Tomorrow I will talk to Rosemary Perdew. She is on the library board and would probably be more open to my suggestions than Joanne Cooper (who I suspect doesn't like me). It just makes me mad when I see an institution of learning closed because of the incompetence and laziness of people who don't care. It just feels like so many of these circumstances are beyond my control. I'm not even sure if Eileen will even ever be back. She hurt her back in late December and even had surgery. She was planning on retiring in May anyways because she really doesn't like children. Things kinda fell apart after she left. Nobody knew what to do. At least back then I had a key. I recall a time when I went to the library after working at the Post Office (about 11:00AM) and it was closed. I unlocked it and kept it open for 6 hours straight. Rosemary Perdew said I was the only person working there that had any sense. Sure Garth stopped by while I was working there but he was more interested in his day off. Apparently, Eileen told Joanne Cooper and Joanne did nada about finding anyone to work. I knew then that she didn't really care. I figure if I can get enough people to call in complaints then maybe something can be done. It doesn't matter if you are from Astoria or across the globe. I need your help. I'll think about it and maybe post a number that complaints can be sent to.

Another grueling and boring week ahead. Blah... The jobs are so easy I could do them on autopilot. That is what I do when I clean. I make up songs in my head. I have really bad psoriasis on the backs of my hands. The problem is that the cream I use quit working. I'm going tomorrow to try and get an appointment with Dr. Cindy. I'll also ask about a paternity test so I can put this whole Bob is my dad Nonsense Bull Shit behind me. My mother keeps lying to people about how I neglect her. She can rot in Hell for all I care. She was never a mother to me. I'm better off without her and if there was a device that could eradicate all my memories of her... I'd use it in a heartbeat to purge my mind of her. Long story..... I'm too tired or pissed to type anymore.

Night!!!

Current Mood: pissed off

Ack! Someone confess!
I mean I respect your right to give me anonymous gifts but I did some research and I know how much you paid. Maybe the person doesn't read my journal. I just wish I knew who to thank. I'm to page 96 of the book and it took awhile to umm.. translate. I love the book and it tends to give me weird dreams but I like that too. I find it insanely fascinating and a little disturbing how much my life parallels with the life of "Adam Spark". Actually that is pretty cool too!

Those of you who haven't read it.. It is basically written in "Stream of consciousness". Plus it is written in this Scottish accent. So basically you translate as you go. I feel like I am learning a new language. That is a good thing too. There are some hilarious parts.. LOL I have to reread the previous chapters to remember them. A lot of them are observations like how Americans play Football with an odd shaped football. I'll post some of the funny parts here later. It is way late here.

Thank you whoever sent me this book. It is awesome!

Current Mood: cheerful

Ok Who did it?
I got something in the mail today as an anonymous gift. It was a very nice book that I look forward to reading. Granted.. my skills of deduction are a bit rusty so... You do the deducing. I'll withhold the title of the book. Then I'll know that it is you that sent it. I'm not mad... If anything I am insanely happy. I just want to thank the right person. I have a list in my head of who it could be... Come clean. I'll give you hugs!

Anyways... I am deeply touched by the gift. Thanks. I am also touched by what I got in the mail from another friend. In short, I am blessed beyond words. Thanks Abbey and whoever you are mysterious stranger... I also want to thanks anyone I forgot. My memory is so bad these days. Ugh...

Current Mood: ecstatic

More Dreams!
Ok.. I had a few more dreams. For some reason I remember them better than I used to. Sunday night I had an odd dream (or was it Saturday night)? Anyways, I don't remember all of it just a few pieces. It seemed like I was getting my teeth drilled without anesthesia. It was really odd. It was like they used one of those hand sanders on my teeth. It seemed like my vantage point was out of my own mouth. Not sure if it was a routine dentist thing or torture of some sort.

Anyways yesterday (Monday Night) I was feeling a little nauseated so I went to bed at 11:30 PM instead of 4:30 AM. I had a few weird dreams.

I think I remembered the first dream when I woke up. Then I forgot it. The next dream was odd. I dreamed that I was surfing the net and I found this weird German website. I forget the name but it was like "Veoburg" or something. I remember that it started with V and ended with the Urg sound. I heard the word in my head a few times during the dream and I remember that it resembled "Verboten" or "Forbidden". Yeah that is like one of the few German words I know. The content odf the site won't be discussed here. There were animated gifs on the site but then things went all freaky and they became real. I also discovered a unique ability that I had... Again maybe I'll discuss it in my secret journal. The site had a green background... Not a very dark green but with dark green border.

The second dream was horrible. I saw these people playing basketball and one kid went up to slam dunk it. Somehow he got a snare around one of his legs and he was just hanging there upside down. Then someone dropped this yellow device that looked like a yellow M&M. It exploded and there were all of these big spiders everywhere. One spider was really fast and its body looked a lot like the bomb. It had 30 written on its back. It kept running up my leg and then across the room. I am insanely afraid of spiders. Anyways The scene changed and I was in my grandmother's front yard. But there were all these yellow bomb/pods hanging from the trees. It made my skin crawl to even think of coming in contact with one. "There are worms in some of them" I heard a voice say. "Oh great!" I'm thinking to myself. Anyways I did a flat out run and knocked a few of them to the ground and stepped on them. I kept flashing to images of the eggs and this deep amber color. As I stepped on the eggs it got harder and harder to move as if my feet were stuck to the ground.

I figure I made another trip to Hell. Every time I go I end up seeing some new aspect to it. There was one dream I had a long time ago. Well I used to have horrible nightmares as kid though I don't remember them anymore. Then again I was afraid of everything. This dream was particularly frightening. It occurred right after I had a dream about being chased through a mystical forest. The trees all had these eyes that looked like they had been glazed over. Anyways the scene shifted and there was this old house and a couch. The couch was battered and patched so I sat on it. I ended up in a very frightening place. I was in a place devoid of sound and light. Well not entirely... It was that way at first... I was holding a butcher's Knife kinda like the one in "American McGee's Alice". I noticed flashes of light and I became aware of horrible sobbing and screaming coming from all around me. The only light would be when someone's knife struck the floor as if they were trying to get out. When the knife struck the floor though then the person would disappear and appear at some other random place in the vast region. I could hear so much pain and if I had been forced to stay there very long I would have lost my sanity. Someone pulled me from that place though and I was back sitting on the couch. I still hear the screams and wails sometimes. You don't get off easy when you go there. You take a piece of the place with you inside your soul.

I do have good dreams once in awhile. It is a good change from bad ones. A lot of my dreams aren't tagged as "dreams". If anyone wants to point out which entries are dreams then I will tag them as such.

It is only about 1:00 AM but I am off to bed. My body can't take these late nights. Then again my mind can't take these nightmares either....

Current Mood: tired

Weird Dream!!!
I know it is late but I had a weird dream last night. I actually remembered most of it. I also discovered some things about myself.
1) I dream in color (apparently some people dream in Black and White).
2) I can actually read signs in my dreams (supposedly you aren't supposed to be able to read in your dreams because it is the other half of your brain that is in charge of reading or something).

Anyways I was at this building that seemed to be a college. The outside was dark brown brick but there were some tan bricks in the wall. I was in this waiting area and there was a big turn out. We are talking "American Idol" big. Anyways I looked around and saw some people that I knew. I saw a friend from High School named Abraham Trone. I spoke to him but he just ignored me. I looked around some more and saw my cousin Anthony. Seeing him reminded me where I was. I thought to myself that he wasn't far from home and he lives somewhere in California now. He was with this girl I didn't recognize. (At this point I should have realized this was a dream since my cousin is gay and it seemed like these two were close.) I waited for this girl to leave but she didn't. I wanted to talk to my cousin alone. Anyways I passed the time by putting these weird stamps in an album. They were brightly colored and had pictures of Neopets on them. Some stamps were torn in half as if they were once on a crease. The odd thing is that I would hold up my hand and sheets of stamps (the kind you lick) would just appear. The stamps I was putting in the book were self adhesive.

Finally I got inside the place and there was this long narrow table that was the length of at least 2 football fields. It was a continuous piece of furniture. It seemed like this was the cafeteria. There were students in some of the chairs. Some chairs were wood and some were metal. Against the far wall was some lockers so I glanced down at my piece of paper and it said my locker was either number 045 or 2045. I look on the table and see big Christmas decorations that apparently had been built by some of the students. Some of the lockers were decorated too. I get to the lockers and see that they are arranged weird. They went something like this:
002
001
003
005
004
instead of numerical order and there were signs above them. One said "Coach", others read "Mob" "Staff" and so on. I saw this one girl and asked her if she could help me find my locker but she said "no, I'm kinda new here too". I went down the next hallway that went from North to South. There were students mopping the floors as if there had been a big party and Styrofoam cups on the floor. I physics in this place was weird. There were very few East to West hall ways and all of the North to South Hallways ended in a Cul-da-sac (dead-end) though there was a door. I went down another North to South hallway and I heard this music start up and I heard someone shout "Oh look! Here they come!". About that time these 5 older kids enter through the door at the end of the hall. They look popular and all wear these light grey business suits. All the kids go to one side of the hall way or the other. I walk towards them. I then hear someone say "Here come the kindergarteners!". I turn around and see these 5 younger kids (maybe middle school age) walking towards the popular seniors. The popular seniors run away from these kids and I think this is pretty funny. I open a side door and it seems to be a library. I don't go in since I figure there are no lockers in there. I go back to the end of the hall and there is this over-sized computer there that I apparently didn't see before. It was colorful and had buttons like an arcade game. The sign on it read "information" but when I got there a bunch of kids were using it.

I decided to take another East to West Hallway and I see this complicated sign with arrows and numbers. I figure the lockers are down there. It gave me the feeling of the occult section in the library from "The Simpson's: Treehouse of Horror series". Anyways I woke up about that time. I had a similar feeling when I dreamed that I was in this huge mall that had a secret underground dungeon and also when I had dreamed that I was at this odd school.

I finally raised 400,000 NP and put my bid in for the Peophin Desperado Mask. I now have 45 NP. I have lots of games I can still play and make back some money. Currently no faerie quests as I have found the florg Os Cereal. It was 3,555 NP. Not bad for a Faerie Queen Quest. I had 55 NP but I bought 10 Mossy Rocks since the person who I was in negotiations with (charred_rain) collects them. It is mega late. Night!

Current Mood: awake

Q
Yeah.. 4:00 AM. It was an interesting day. I worked at the Post Office from 10:00AM-11:00AM. Then I went into the Library around 1:00PM-2:00PM for janitorial work and 2:00PM-3:00PM to run the circulation desk. About 2:30PM I ordered a pizza from the gas station next door. They said it would be 20 minutes and I said "make it 30 minutes I'll pick it up at 3:05PM". Anyways It rolls around to 3:00PM and this person comes in and needs help with the computers. The older people in this town know nothing of the internet. I wasn't overly fond of the person but I helped them anyways to do research on Steve Sauerberg, Andy Martin, and Mike Psak (3 people running for Illinois Senate). It was 3:10PM before I rushed out the door (and picked up the pizza) and I left my green bag at the library. My green bag basically has everything I carry with me. A few notebooks, pens, puzzle books, "How to draw anime" book... I left it in the back room and Wednesday is adults only on the computers so no worries about it getting stolen. I did leave a notebook on top though that kinda contains the "Antione and Lance" story. Astoria is a conservative town where there are like 7 churches in a town of 1350 people. I doubt they are very friendly towards the content of the story. Chances are that they know it is my bag and won't look through it anyways. I'm not sure I will ever write a sequel to it unless I get really bored. It was fun writing that story and it is located on my site (under the adult section of course).

I need Florg Os Cereal on Neopets for a Faerie Queen Quest. Normally I would just log in under another account and search from there but I respect the rules more now and am too lazy to go to that much trouble. Jelly Neo claims that the item is just 3K. Also I am about 43K short of my goal of 400,000 NP so that I can buy a Peophin Desperado Mask. I have all of the other Peophin Desperado items. I can pay a person back 10,000 NP a week for the next 5 weeks if someone could loan me the NP that I require.

Wow I work tomorrow and it is 4:30AM... Man I'm tired.

I also brought 2 of my most expensive plushies from the new house to my grandmother's house. A pipe burst in the upstairs restroom due to the power being off and the sub zero temperatures. Power company needs $1,000 before they even consider turning the power back on. My mini fridge is full of black mold for some reason even though I don't remember spilling anything in it. I figure I need to move some stuff out since it will start smelling musty due to the water damage. The 2 plushies I took were both 17" tall and were http://berlinbear.com/douglas.gifs/buckskin.jpg and http://www.katieskreations.net/image/11880444.jpg <--- My fave! Both came from a catalog named "Back in the Saddle" and originally were priced at around $50. I believe I got both for under $20 each due to Christmas Clearance sale. The braid and ribbon work on the clydesdale is awesome!Now to find a place to put them over here...

Night!

Wow!
I kept wanting to write in here but I kept getting distracted by something shiny. Does anyone happen to know Japanese? I need someone to translate a manga for me. I have several pages that were translated but I found the manga again and it was in Japanese. I have nothing against Japanese but I like to know what people are saying (well in this case horse boys =P). The manga is a little on the adult side but if anyone is willing to translate it then contact me. I'm usually only on MSN these days.

I've been having nightmares again. My sickness has passed though I still have some junk in my lungs that I keep coughing out. I keep having dreams that are centered around a hospital. They scare me because it feels like someone is out to kill me when I visit my friend on the second floor of this hospital made of glass. The fact is that I know of no one in the hospital so why am I dreaming this. I had another dream but the explanation of it won't go here or even on this journal. It'll go in my secret journal if I can remember the PW. You see I understand the first dream that I will describe later.

This weird hospital is so vivid that I can see it. The walls and floors were glass and there were 2 wrought iron spiral staircases and one modern staircase that also spiraled upward. I took the modern staircase to the second floor. There was this cylinder of glass around the staircase except for the door at each end. There was a sense of urgency since it felt like I was being pursued. That is all I remember...

The first dream was odd and I remember very little about it. It seems like I was getting blood drawn for some kind of blood test. It also felt like I was giving blood to save someone else's life. I am deathly afraid of needles though so it was a very traumatic dream.

I like to eat shrimp ramen. It makes me feel like a rock star for some reason. I buy them 6 to a box for $1.69 at Aldis. All you do is add boiling water. It is something that even I can make =P

I bought some DVDs last week. On Tuesday I picked up "The Last Unicorn". On Thursday I picked up "Dude Where's my Car?" for $5 at Walmart. I figured it was worth that. It is a very funny movie even if it is a stoner flick. I've watched neiter yet. What I have watched was my "Legend of Zelda" DVD that has the first 3 episodes of the cartoon series from back in the 80's. I had forgotten that Link was such a horn dog. I do recall watching the show a lot. I want to get the complete DVD set of all 13 episodes but I'll put it off for awhile. Maybe after tax time. My favorite episode was number 13 but I have no way of ever seeing it again unless they sell it at Dollar General like they did this one.

NightMist made it to 10,000 HP today. I was battling trying to get my Zufinx to learn all 8 Air moves since Air style was released today. This event popped up: An angelic cattus appears in front of NightMist and grants them 10 points of health. In the old days the Angelic Cattus had a name. It was Mental Hazard and it belonged to Pyroneus. Anyways in this case 10 points of health became 10,000 and I was very happy because NightMist was already at maximum health. He is a little over 100 hours away from maxing out his stats completely with downgraded weapons since equipment cannot be completely removed yet. Once equipment is removeable then he will have an additional 170 hours (120 defense and 50 Strength) to train in. Currently he needs to train 93 more hours in strength then I will equip some elemental boots and he can train 15 hours more. That is about 10 days if I am on 10 hours a day. I usually spend about 10-14 hours a day online so it should be less than that. The pet with the most training to go is Cerulean with 656 hours to go. The complete list is:
SilentBreeze: 616
NightMist: 108
SolarFlare: 544
Reflection: 620
Redemption: 551
Terra_Firma: 641
Cerulean: 656
All are represented by hours.
I was bored one day so I converted all of my pet's profiles and hosted them on my website. the link can be found here: http://www22.brinkster.com/adamspokepatch/kenopets.htm Please leave feedback if you like them. I am looking for youtube videos for my other pets. Currently only SolarFlare and Reflection have one. Tomorrow I will have to alter Terra_Firma's page since he is one hour away from training in defense. I also need to go through and update maximum damage.

A little background on the manga I mentioned earlier. I found the first dozen or so on the special forum I visit. They were translated into English. I did a little research and I think the art was by Joji Manabe and published by Flash Point. Th title of the Manga is "Condensed Juice". A friend found it in .torrent format but I couldn't get my router ports to open right. Another friend suggested emule and I tried that. I did find the Manga on there but it was in Japanese and not English like the pages I have. I am trying to DL all the other files in case one is in English. All seem to be on Queue but I can leave my laptop on 24/7. I leave a youtube video on to keep it from entering sleep mode.

I'm off to bed. Sweet dreams all!

Current Mood: tired
Current Music: "Bullet" by Covenant

Ugh...
I could mention Christmas. My mom actually bought me something this year. I wasn't expecting that. She bought me this really nice knife with a colorful scene etched into the handle. She also gave me a 20 and ummm... Oh right. A really warm jacket thingy. My grandmother got me string cheese, a cheese thing with several kinds of cheese in it, a beef log, and a pomegranate. My dad got me some string cheese, a beef stick, and some beef jerky. The Library bought me a pie. The Post office gave me a gift card from walmart (20). The person who had my name in the family got me a horse DVD and a $10 gift card from Walmart. Some of my friends on Subeta got me some of the items on my wishlist. If I left anyone out then I apologize. I've been so sick lately that I can't hold my concentration for long.

It all started on Saturday when I went to Macomb with my dad to go shopping. We ate at "The Great Wall". Later I noticed that I was steadily getting a sore throat so I lived with it awhile. Monday, I got some antibiotics. It migrated from my throat to my head. My nose runs like a faucet all day and I am starting to cough. Last night I got maybe 2 hours of sleep... Tomorrow I will get some Nyquil and DayQuil... I might have to miss work tomorrow... I guess that's what I get for saying "Since I have worked here (at the post office) I notice that I am seldom sick anymore." I might as well have put a bullet in my head for saying that. Oh... and my lips are way chapped and I haven't even been outside. I figure I had a high fever at one time. There is no cough medicine here so I expect another rocky night. I was supposed to work at the Library tomorrow. I don't get paid for sick days. No matter how many times I blow my nose it keeps running. The only good thing is that my throat isn't sore. I am on Cephalexin since a lot of the antibiotics I used to take no longer work. Earlier tonight it was 6 degrees outside and the wind chill was -7 degrees. I don't want to miss work and I have been on antibiotics for 2 days so maybe I'm not contagious. What I might try to do tomorrow (if I can't work) is have my grandmother pick me up some NyQuil and sleep all day. My Kenopets are basically past any major milestones in their training. Being sick sucks big time. I'm going to be really sore after this clears up from all the coughing. I usually am. Then again I sneeze so hard I am lucky my head doesn't explode.

Can someone Express mail me some Nyquil? I'm just kidding. I'm sure the grocery store has some or manybe Franz Grimmer up at "Shopper's Paradise" (the local wholesale shop) has some. Also we are nearly out of Vick's Vapor rub and Vaseline. No... I don't use vaseline for that... I don't like the greasy feel of it. I don't know where it all went. I don't need that kind of help when I.. Wow this conversation took an odd turn.

Ahem... Anyways.. The vicks vapor rub does do pretty good when I smear it under my nose. It might be enough to get me through the night and sooth my coughing. Burns pretty bad though since my nose is so raw. I'm hoping that Nyquil and these antibiotics will help me. I've never really liked the sensations of greasy or sticky. Not sure why...

I'm going to bed early. Maybe I will fall asleep eventually if I go to bed early.

Current Mood: sick

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